Welcome back to my blog! Today, we're diving into a topic that's close to many of our hearts: understanding why our loved ones might be experiencing a loss of vitality and confidence.
Now, I’d like to share some ideas with you that might encourage your loved ones (friends, family, children, colleagues, and anyone else you care about) to talk about the thoughts that are bothering them.
Sometimes, thoughts can snowball quickly into worst-case-scenario visions, and it can lead us spiralling into a depressive state. Articulating anxieties can feel impossible, especially if you’re feeling numb.
Try using these ideas to help your loved one open up.
First, I recommend using a Feel Wheel. This simple tool can help them delve deeper into their emotions beyond the basic feelings of sadness, happiness, or anger. Once they’ve pinpointed the emotion(s) they’re experiencing, you can often trace it back to the root cause. Encourage your loved one to understand that ‘fine’ is not a feeling but a barrier to self-preservation.
When you sense that something has been troubling your loved one for a while, setting aside uninterrupted time for them could be pivotal. This demonstrates your commitment to their emotional well-being and ensures that they have your undivided attention. Consider a quiet Sunday evening after dinner or a leisurely walk around the block as a time to connect.
Validation is key. Your loved one is more likely to open up and continue to do so when they feel that their emotions are heard and respected. You don’t have to understand why they’re feeling a certain way fully, and it's okay if you would have felt differently in their situation. What matters is that their feelings are valid. Avoid shaming, guilting, or dismissing their emotions, as this could prevent their willingness to share.
The language you use will also determine how much your loved one shares with you. Closed questions like “Are you ok?” or “Did someone upset you?” will ensure short, blunt answers and frustration from both parties. Approach the conversation with curiosity and ask questions that help your loved one to dig a little deeper… “I noticed you left home really bubbly this morning, but when you got home, you seemed withdrawn. What was the turning point in your day?” or “These last few weeks have been tough, huh? I’ve found myself feeling mostly {insert emotion}, so I was really grateful when {insert experience} happened. What feeling have you struggled with the most recently?”
One of my favourite phrases if someone hasn't shared much is, “Oh yeh? Tell me more…” It’s magic - try it!
I hope these suggestions keep communication open with someone who is struggling.
Please remember that if you support someone, you must also look after yourself and recharge your battery. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Discover ways that help you feel centred and grounded. This eBook is a great guide to help you increase peace and energy in your daily rhythm.
Sending Light Your Way 💫
Zoë x
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